Run for Cover

After hanging out with some corporate guys in Vegas a few months ago, I came home with this odd habit of proclaiming everything as "the best (or worst) thing ever." Previously, I had been content in simply knowing that things were "cool" or "interesting"--the finality of apex/nadir never really crossed my mind.

I've given this some thought and the list of things to which this description actually fits is both short and indisputable.

BEST BAGELS EVER: Absolute Bagels
BEST TITLE FOR A BLOG EVER: Hot Chicks with Douchebags
BEST LATIN SOUL RECORD LABEL EVER: Fania
BEST TELEVISION SHOW EVER: The Wire
BEST WAY TO ENJOY MANY SONGS WITH EXCELLENT POP STRUCTURES BUT POOR VOCALS: Cover versions
BEST COVER VERSION OF A COLOR ME BADD SONG: Jimmy Riley's "I Want to Sex You Up"

We can now add a seventh to this list.

WORST NON-HUMAN TRAGEDY-RELATED IDEA EVER: Skeet Spirit

This is some kid doing crunk versions of Radiohead songs. This is even worse than the reggae version of OK COMPUTER (surprisingly listenable) or the hipster-ish Exit Music tribute album. This is some kid doing crunk versions of Radiohead songs.

Admittedly, I am predisposed to disliking this sort of overly clever bedroom remixing thing; that impulse completely overwhelms my normal policy of loving cover versions, alt takes, etc no matter how bad they might be. But this is just terrible. THIS IS SOME KID DOING CRUNK VERSIONS OF RADIOHEAD SONGS. IF I COULD MAKE THE FONT HUGE, WITH SERIFS OF BLOOD, I MOST DEFINITELY WOULD. In the words of Jim Jones, "That's just terrible (cough cough)."



It brings to mind something I remember from Jurassic Park about people doing things merely because they could, not because they should.

A counterweight to all this is Tugboat's 8-bit rework-medley of popular radio hits. Over five or so minutes, Tugboat does these little Atari keyboard versions of T.I., Ludacris, Jay-Z, etc. It's not the BEST THING EVER; he isn't even the BEST TUGBOAT REFERENCE IN POPULAR MUSIC EVER (that honor goes to Galaxie 500's "Tugboat"). But it was entertaining enough to survive my notoriously short attention span. (Credit: Reihan)

Anyhow, I hope I have done the same and survived your short attention span.

For I myself am only an inferior, 2-bit version of Ed.

I am grateful for your hospitality.

I leave you with this photograph of an actual macaca, not to be confused with a South Asian gentleman: