The Teachings of Parkus Grammaticus — Stray Thoughtz™

From yesterday's lesson:

Donald Keene: “I grew interested in the Orient and one day I bought a translation of the Japanese story ‘Tale of Genji’ in the Hotel Astor bookstore in Times Square, only because it was so cheap — two volumes for 49 cents. And that’s how I got hooked on Japanese literature.”

From my groundbreaking piece "Minor Poets, Major Works":

Thought: Maybe it’s the remainder tables that secretly move the culture forward. Up-and-coming writers, strapped for cash and dismissive of the books that are being published and getting noticed, gravitate toward these steam tables of overlooked lit, these shallow arks of the minor. I used to work in an office near St. Mark’s Bookshop in New York, and would drop in at least once a week. Cheaper than the new releases, even than most of the literary journals, were the remainders on the table in the back, which is where I first discovered John Ashbery and James Schuyler’s A Nest of Ninnies.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury—I rest my case.

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Stray thought: The Sabres lost the other night to the Flyers at...the Wells Fargo Center! Not the Spectrum! The change happened in 1996, so obviously I haven't been following hockey, really, but...still...

Anyway, this morning I read that Oakland Stadium is going to be called...OVERSTOCK.COM COLISEUM. (More here.)

Name change 2

LOS ANGELES — The excavation for a parking garage near the La Brea tar pits here has yielded the site’s first intact mammoth skeleton as well as a trove of other bones that could double the size of the site’s already large collection of fossils from the last ice age....

The mammoth, which excavators have named Zed, is an adult male that died in its late 40s. It was found in a separate part of the garage site from the other tar-encased fossils and is complete except for a rear leg.—NYT

Name change

"The model Edita," in NYT

(photo for NYT by Elizabeth Lippman)

Borgnine school

Wade Mammon? Andy Secular? No, these aren't characters from the forthcoming Pynchon novel, but rather employees mentioned in an article about Tortilla Flats, "the taco joint that loves Ernest Borgnine." (NYT)

The staff is put through a rigorous Borgnine School upon hiring. “It’s in our training manual,” Mr. Mammon, the young bartender, said, acknowledging that he had no idea who the actor was when he started at Tortilla Flats a year ago.

Fulmernating

This sounds like a name one might give to a reporter, when one doesn't want to give one's name:

Fulmer Duckworth, 41, who works in computer graphics for Bank of America — coincidentally, more than 20 of the passengers work for the bank, which is based in Charlotte — was in a meeting on the 29th floor of a building at 42nd Street and Avenue of the Americas when he saw the plane hit the water. —NYT

Breaking news

Pittsburgh Mayor Asks to Remove Ravens From His Name

PITTSBURGH — To understand the depth of feeling here for the Steelers, consider the news conference Wednesday morning at the Allegheny County Department of Court Records.

There, Pittsburgh’s mayor, Luke Ravenstahl, filled out a Verified Petition for a Name Change in a ceremonial effort to convert his surname to Steelerstahl. It would be that way, he said, until the Steelers and the Ravens played Sunday for the American Football Conference title.

—NYT

(from Jane)

M.P. Phone Home

From today's AP wire story on Michael Phelps (via Dzyd Sarah):

"He is just a normal person, but maybe from a different planet," said Russia's Alexander Sukhorukov, fresh off a thrashing by the Phelps-led Americans in the 800 free relay Wednesday but still wearing a silver medal around his neck.

Cornel Marculescu, who runs the sport's governing body, concurred with the intergalactic theory.

"The problem is, we have an extraterrestrial," Marculescu said. "No one else can win."

British swimmer Simon Burnett has a different take, which he shared with American men's coach Eddie Reese when they ran into each other in the cafeteria.

"He was saying to me, 'I think I've figured out Michael Phelps,'" Reese said. "'He is not from another planet; he is from the future. His father made him and made a time machine. Sixty years from now he is an average swimmer, but he has come back here to mop up.'"

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Check out these false Olympics pictograms at Crude Futures.

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How popular is your name? (There are 12 people in the U.S. named Ed Park??? Fewer than I thought!)(Hmm, but there are 298 Edward Parks...)

(Via MUG)

Upside-down and scrambled

Wasn't there already a Times piece on odd names? This one might be even better:

Hatred has its own story. Mr. Zenenga is one of seven children born to hard-working parents who were determined to educate their brood. The family’s rising status made the father’s illiterate brothers jealous. So except for the first child, who died as an infant, all the children were named to address the jealousy and other emotions that raged among the adults: Norest, Hatred, Praise, Confess, Raised-on and Abide.

Also in today's NYT, though oddly unavailable online: "Google's Name Attracts Lawsuits."

A Pennsylvania resident sued Google last month in federal court, claiming that his Social Security number turned upside down and scrambled spells the name Google. [The plaintiff] asked for $5 billion in damages.

EP/MP — Name of the day

EP completists (hi, Dad!) will want to peruse the September issue of Modern Painters, which has my short review of John Porcellino's King-Cat compendium. (Alas, it's not online, though I'll try to get it onto The Unarchivable soon.)

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Some interesting names have been cropping up lately, nomen-omenishly or not: Yurbiladyberth, Jack Hammer, and Poopa Dweck.

But I think this one might be my favorite. He's an associate of beleaguered Democratic fundraiser Norman Hsu. He is...Winkle Paw!

The only public evidence of Mr. Hsu’s connection to some of the political contributors who appear in his company’s financial ledger can be found in campaign finance filings. On several occasions, two donors, Winkle Paw, a financial analyst in California, and Paul Su, a computer company executive in New York, described themselves as partners in Mr. Hsu’s companies.

In a Huff

Levi's back from vacation, with some delightful posts, including this one about names. On a recent viewing of Double Indemnity:

And that name: Walter Neff. He was Walter Huff in Cain's novel, but the name was changed for the movie, and now it's perfect. The sound and the feel of it are just right for a guy who thinks just a little too highly of himself and is willing to be unscrupulous--but who is, ultimately, just another patsy in the hands of someone who instantly saw through him and had even fewer scruples than he did.

It makes a nice companion piece to Robert Cohen's article on naming in the upcoming (Aug.) Believer, "The Untragic Death of Henry Gladfelter." (I won't say too much more about issue #46 till it hits the stands, but fans of HBO's The Wire should note that Nick Hornby conducts a long and interesting interview with show creator David Simon.)