The big black cat’s series of lamentations

Strange things about the following video:

1.) The talking cats. Duh.

2.) The fact that every time a cat speaks, everyone laughs, even though none of them ever says anything funny.

3.) The big black cat’s series of lamentations:

“Oh my dog.”
“Oh Long John.”
“Oh Long Johnson.”
“Oh Don Piano.”
“Why I eyes ya.”
“All the live long day.”

Creative writing assignment: Compose a short story using all six of the above phrases. Mine will be about a Venetian gentleman in the 1600s, Don Piano, and his pirate lover, Long John Johnson, who develop the American railroad system while conducting a passionate and clandestine affair. The story takes a tragic twist when Johnson, blinded in a naval battle, accidentally pushes Don Piano’s lapdog into a canal.