Paper bag writer
Team Dizzies member Matt declares a moratorium on the phrase "can't act his/her way out of a paper bag" (vis-à-vis a review of the new Fantastic Four movie).
One critical commonplace I've tried to stomp out of my writing over the years is "It's like [another artist/artwork] on [drug]." But I'll use it if I can come up with a funny version. And I just read a description of a sky as "Turner-on-crack," that was pretty good.
Same with "It's like [someone]-meets-[someone]"—I'll use it if I can think of something surprising enough...wait, I did it in this week's Astral Weeks column! (Under review: Kim Stanley Robinson's inconvenient-truth-telling "Science in the Capitol" trilogy.)